domesticviolencesolution.com

Self Esteem

HYT — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 14:40:23 +0000

Whether you see yourself as worthy of a loving relationship or that you deserve the treatment you’re experiencing is down to your belief about your self worth.

Self-esteem is a term used in psychology to reflect a person’s overall evaluation of his or her own worth. Self-esteem encompasses beliefs and emotions such as despair, pride and . . . → Read More: Self Esteem

Money Matters

HYT — Mon, 22 Nov 2010 17:09:08 +0000

One of the ways control can be gained is with money by controlling how much you spend or by taking your money away from you. Even those who do earn their own income can be controlled by criticism about what they do buy. This is often done with clothes that make you look good, when people are insecure they sometimes criticise when you look good because they are scared that you may find someone else and leave.

Looking after yourself is important and keeping your own sense of independence. If this is done with care towards your partner your relationship need not end if that’s what you want.

Remembering happiness

HYT — Mon, 22 Nov 2010 14:16:49 +0000

We all have our good days and bad days but when you’re experiencing abuse it’s even more important to remember how to be happy, what used to lift our spirits and either do what we used to or find something new that helps us remember that we are worthy of being happy, and that we have . . . → Read More: Remembering happiness

Know What You Want

HYT — Thu, 18 Nov 2010 21:16:25 +0000

Where you put your attention in life and relationships, your mind aims to give you that you want, but your unconscious mind doesn’t understand negatives, so it gives you what you focus on.

You can’t think about what you don’t want, without thinking about it. If you don’t know what you want how can you expect to get it? In life we get what we focus on and as most people focus on what they don’t want they get exactly that. Imagine, be creative and create an image of the life you would like so your unconscious mind can help you create it.

For more feel free to request your complementary copy of ”Eliminate Domestic Violence” at the top of the page and for your personal invitation to one of my live trainings online.

Fighting Fair

HYT — Thu, 18 Nov 2010 14:57:30 +0000

The calmest person in an argument is the one in control.

Without self control arguments lead to throwing blame and shaming at each other and can end in abuse and violence. No one expects relationships to be calm all the time but disagreements and arguements don’t need to be nasty and aggressive.

An argument is simply a conversation with different opinions or views that disagree, a debate.

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” Buddha

For more information you are invited to request a complementary copy of “Eliminating Domestic Violence” at the top of the page.

Change

HYT — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 21:36:55 +0000

Know and what to change to make the biggest impact on your life.

There are different levels of change and for them to be lasting you may need to make changes on multiple levels. The results you get depend on the level of change you make.

The only way to change your relationships is to change how you think, behave and react as you are the only person you can change. By making positive changes in your own life you may inspire others to change, but you can’t make them change.

The 5 levels of change you can make within yourself:

Environment – Where are you and who is around you?
Behaviours – How do you act and react to people and situations?
Capabilities and Skills – What do you know how to do and how well do you do them?
Values and Beliefs – What is important to you in life & what beliefs do you have?
Identity – Who are you showing up as in life, who do you identify with?

For more feel free to request your complementary copy of “Eliminate Domestic Violence” at the top of the page.

Evaluate Risks & Consequences

HYT — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 21:14:43 +0000

The greatest risk in domestic violence is at the time of leaving or after leaving a violent partner.

Risk assessments are critical in domestic violence to ensure your safety. In order to decide what action to take we need to look at the possibilities whether you like them or believe them.

Assessing risks & consequences will help you:

Identify where you need help
Understand your options
Stay as safe as possible
Identify what help is available
Decide whether to stay or go
Understand triggers and deal with them

Knowing the risks is like walking round a mine field with a map of where the mines are likely to be, it’s simple to keep out of harms way when you know where they are and what triggers them.

For more information on conducting risk assessments request your complementary copy of “Eliminate Domestic Violence” at the top of the page.

Break The Patterns

HYT — Sun, 03 Oct 2010 22:38:47 +0000

Patterns left uninterrupted can continue forever!

Domestic violence is a pattern that unless something significant changes it will go on and affect everyone around you, your friends, family and your children.

Many people are scared to act, so they don’t. Many who have experienced Domestic Violence, stalking or sexual assault never tell anyone.

Just because someone has escaped the abuse doesn’t mean they have dealt with what happened. This doesn’t make what happened your fault; it does make it your responsibility to stop it.

It can happen to anyone, male, female and many successful strong women harbour deep routed problems related to domestic violence that haven’t been dealt with.

If you would like to know more, you are invited to receive your complementary copy of “Eliminate Domestic Violence in 10 Simple Steps”

How Domestic Violence Starts

HYT — Sun, 03 Oct 2010 22:32:35 +0000

Identify how you got there, so you can follow the path to the future you really want.

Understanding the behaviours and patterns is the first step to changing your life for the better.

Abuse tends to be based upon insecurities, fears and the inability to control their own life. It normally starts with seemingly small and insignificant comments and builds up.

Examine and understand the past, learn from it, not dwell on it, and then take action to change what you don’t like into what you do like by living in the present and looking to what you want in the future.

Many people who have or are experiencing abuse feel embarrassed at some stage, saying to themselves: how did it get this far, what happened, how could I let this happen?

A commonly held belief is that Domestic Violence is only committed by strong men against weak women or that only poor people experience domestic violence.

If you would like to know more, you are invited to receive your complementary copy of “Eliminate Domestic Violence in 10 Simple Steps”